Couples Counseling

couples-counseling-silicon-valleyAre You Longing To Restore Intimacy in Your Relationship?

  • Do you wonder what happened to the person you fell in love with?
  • Are you longing to reignite the burnt out spark that once brought you together?
  • Have the stresses of life, such as jobs, kids and finances, gotten in the way of emotional and physical intimacy with your partner?
  • Has your relationship suffered from a serious breach in trust, such as an affair?
  • Do you wish that you could feel as though you both loved and liked your partner again?

Relationships can be challenging, and most couples hit bumps along the way. You and your partner may be busy balancing work, children and all of the other responsibilities of adult life and have suddenly realized that you just don’t have the same connection that you enjoyed before. Perhaps daily stress has led to conflict or arguments that you never meant to go as far as they did. Or, maybe you and your partner are struggling with the aftermath of an infidelity or another emotionally intense event that has made you question if you even know your partner anymore. You might be wondering what happened or even blaming yourself for overlooking an issue that seemed small but is now rearing an ugly head.

Maybe you avoid going to bed at night because lying next to your partner makes you feel lonely and isolated. You might dread interacting with your partner because the arguments and avoidance behaviors just seem to be driving you future apart. Perhaps you look at other relationships and wonder why everyone else seems to be doing so well. You may miss the person that you fell in love with and wonder if you even like each other anymore. Maybe you just wish you could find a way to connect with your partner and rebuild the loving partnership you once had.

Many Relationships Go Through Rocky Periods

Life is full of difficult periods and intense adjustments. While many of us enjoy a blissful honeymoon period with our partners, huge life events such as marriage, moving, the birth of a child or a death in the family can put strain on a relationship. Many people also struggle with mood disorders, such as depression or anxiety, which – when left untreated – can contribute to conflict or lack of connection in a relationship. In addition, we learn so much of how we interact from our families of origin. Oftentimes, especially when we are stressed, people find themselves falling back into familiar behavior patterns, such as self-isolation or micromanaging.

In today’s world, people hear two conflicting messages about relationships. On the one hand, we crave emotional intimacy and want to have more connection than generations before us. On the other hand, our culture is full of stories about relationships that have eroded under dishonesty and deceit. In addition, life in Silicon Valley is full of intense pressure to succeed. In such a high-stress world, your relationship should be a place of comfort, but it can often become a place of even more stress. Thankfully, however, there is a way to renew the intimacy and peace you once enjoyed with your partner.

Couples Counseling Can Help You Feel Connected and Understood

Whether you and your partner are longing for more intimacy and to reignite a spark or if you are coping with the aftereffects of a serious conflict, couples counseling can help you build the relationship you want to have. Life can be busy and complicated. Too often, couples don’t take the time to sit down and really discuss what is going on. As an experienced third party, I can help you both identify and focus on fundamental issues. In sessions, you can get to get to the heart of your conflict rather than feeling distracted by smaller arguments or disagreements.

During couples counseling sessions, I will draw from many different approaches in order to best serve you and your unique needs. On the psychodynamic level, I can help both you and your partner unpack any baggage you may be bringing into your relationship and identify the source of your worries or fears. It can often be difficult to see the underlying dynamics in a relationship, especially when you have probably learned your communication style from your family of origin. I can help you bring those underlying dynamics to the surface and then give you practical tools to help you communicate with greater clarity and understanding.

Couples counseling can help you and your partner come closer together, understand where the other is coming from and get to know one another deeply again. No matter what is challenging you and your partner, it is possible to heal and create intimacy again. It is possible to work through conflicts and move past the hurts that may have accumulated over the years. With help and support, you can begin to use those experiences to build an even stronger relationship. You can move forward, grow together and enjoy friendship and love again.

You may believe that couples counseling can help you and your partner reconnect, but still have questions or concerns…

I think couples counseling is too expensive.

Couples counseling is an investment in the future of your relationship. I encourage you to consider the immense emotional and financial cost of divorce or separation. Splitting your assets in half can be complicated and overwhelming. Separation can leave both partners struggling to make ends meet financially while they also work to cope with the pain of an ended relationship. Through couples counseling, you can work mend your relationship and rebuild a secure and supportive connection with your partner.

Is it even possible to forgive an infidelity?

Although it can be incredibly difficult to consider forgiving your partner for a breach of trust, it is possible. In couples counseling sessions, you can openly and honestly unpack all of the emotions you are experiencing and begin a real dialogue with your partner again. As you uncover what is really going on in your relationship, you and your partner can even grow closer and move forward with greater trust and honesty.

I’m worried you’ll take my partner’s side. Am I going to be ganged up on?

In sessions, I go to great lengths to make both individuals feel heard and understood. It is important to move out of a place of blame so that you can develop compassion and understanding for both your partner and yourself. Couples counseling is a safe space for you to be honest without feeling like the bad guy. And, as a removed third part, I will make sure that you are both listening and being listened to.

No matter what you and your partner are going through, there is hope for a healthy and happy way forward.

For more information on how I can help you, to schedule a no-charge 20 minute phone consultation, or to make an appointment, please call or text 408-213-8148 or email at

Life can be more fulfilling…
You can be happy again.
Schedule an appointment now.